Wednesday, April 07, 2004

My Dear Yakbuzz,





How very pleased I am to have read this morning's report, and discovered the actions of your client, Mr. Ashcroft. Quite frankly, we've heard very little success from your efforts, but I was able to convince the Lowerarchy that you were an experienced tempter and should be trusted with the assignment. It delights my hunger to no end to hear that he has begun cracking down on pornography.


You may think your achievement is minimal. It is not. You have poked and prodded this ascetic's faithfulness to the Enemy's laws to point where he now thinks that his law enforcement office ought to be concerned with, of all things, regulating lust. Now laws against lust are, on the face of it, very bad for our efforts. They provide limits to lustful behavior of humans, behavior which has been one of our greatest triumphs of this past century. But you have found the perfect chink in the armor. To make it the task of the federal government of the American humans to police the private morals of 260 million citizens is precisely what the Enemy would call "disordered." It is contrary to the niggling, pathetically dull concept of subsidiarity, of which the American humans positively reek, or used to.


We in the Lowerarchy of course know that the highest authority ought to do everything within it's power to do. Such was the very principle that led Our Father Below to take on the Enemy in the first place. Tyranny is the only true government, everything else wears a simpering mask. Anything which makes this case explicit is to be encouraged. Otherwise, the Americans might remember that their system depends on them regulating their own behavior, and that leads to thoughts which are Anaethema to we demons.


Moreover, it will give the proponents of lust a chance to stand before society and once more suggest that everything they do is "normal" and "natural" and "what people want." What fun we have had with those terms, what utter articles of faith they have become among the ignorant! It makes me wiggle with glee at the thought of seeing Flumbottom pull the strings of that delicious morsel, Larry Flynt, and make him dance his shameless little barbarian dance. Oh, the blabbering of fools who really think that their lives and bodies are their own! I drool with anticipation.


I must, however, force myself to be sanguine. You still have not managed to really undo this man's faith, to weaken his resolve or make it bloom into real Spiritual Pride. This is a start, but nowhere near enough. Perhaps you could induce him to blame a certain group of people for the lustfulness of Americans? Blacks? Hispanics? Catholics? See which ones trigger the least positive response and get back to me.



Your proud sponsor,



Toadpipe

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