Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Signing Off...





...for Yuletide. I think the Christmas holiday should be used for some contemplation and looting. I shall return after the New Year, primed and pointed, and full of that mysterious entity called "pep." Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Spiffy Kwanzaa, and a Jolly New Year to all.

Monday, December 15, 2003

"The Enemy is NOT at the Airport"





So far Saddam is still denying everything. But the tone of the story suggests he's going to get a thorough going over from undisclosed interrogators in an undisclosed location before he stands trial. His briefcase has already been a mine of intelligence, according to the military. We'll see how long it takes us to get him to tell us what we want to know.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Ace of Spades





It's good news today, kids. The Butcher is caught, and the butcher is going to face what Hitler and Stalin never faced: the wrath of the people he raped. And all because he had nowhere to go, no friends who dared help him, nothing except a pistol he dared not use. Amazing how much fear and devestation can be caused by such a weak little man...

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Jonah Reams us One





Full disclosure: Jonah Goldberg is one of my favorite columnists, for style, wit and content combined, he's topped by very few. And his summation of the Supreme's upholding of McCain-Feingold is dead-on. But he also takes some folk to task:



By the way, where the hell is this much-vaunted blogosphere? If three freshman congressmen from Wisconsin hinted that they wanted to regulate the use of umlauts on the internet in honor of Leif Ericson's birthday, bloggers would be on the steps of Congress up-ending cans of gasoline on themselves in protest at such an infringement on free speech. But here we have all three branches of the government severely restricting independent speech outside of the dinosaurs of Old Media and the relative silence — minus a few noble exceptions (The Volokh conspiracy, Instapundit) — is deafening




Okay, big fella ("Hey, don't steal my material!" said an unnamed couch, who left shortly thereafter), we get the point. So we dropped the ball on this one. It happens -- the NYT barely noticed that there was an anti-terror demonstration in Baghdad yesterday. In fairness, Instapundit did hit it, and he's kind of like the blogosphere's Washington Post (Drudge being our New York Times). So, for that matter, did my evil twin at Skeptical Notion, albeit with a favorable stance toward McCain-Feingold. If we aren't leaping at this one, it may be because a level of cynicism has crept into the 'sphere regarding the SCOTUS. Of late it's been on an activist bender; perhaps "insane ruling fatigue" is creeping in.

Can We PLEASE Define Our Terms?





Here's a minor editorial arguing somewhat roundaboutly that the exploration of space needs to be opened up to private hands: to use commerce and some capital liquidity as a means to getting to Mars and beyond. You know, allow folk to make some use of what's up there. Obviously, I don't have an ideological problem with that (practicality and safety, that's another matter). My objection is one of syntax:


abundant evidence from history should teach him that greed is one of the primary human motivators, the other being fear.


Will someone do me the favor and tell me why the profit motive is evidence of greed? It's become one of those maddening rhetorical habits of our society: anyone who seeks material reward for material investment is morally bankrupt. Now, I know that not even the liberalest liberal would phrase it that way. They'd say that of course nothing is wrong with seeking profit, but don't you think that, as a whole, our society, is overly interested in money? And shouldn't we be discouraging rather than encouraging that? I mean, look around at all the stuff we have! Isn't that enough?


I'm not going to use that strawman to argue that societies can't be greedy. They can, and often are. I'm going to argue that greed is a specific failing, and one which we should apply carefully, and as a condemnation, not casually as a whine. To wit: greed is the excessive love of material wealth, to the detriment or even exclusion of higher values. The key terms there are "excessive" and "higher values". Now, maybe them "deregulated CEO's with their short-term, self-serving accountant mentality," have crossed that threshold. Or maybe they're just looking for a revenue stream, and intend to make use of the extraterrestrial property without raping it. If only their were some moral code known and agreeable to all, which put ideas like this in context...

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Somewhere in Iraq





I'm calling your attention to the new link on ze blogroll, Healing in Iraq. It's done by a fellow named Zeyad, an Iraqi who: a) was formerly a member of the Baath party (albiet reluctantly), b) lives in the "Sunni Triangle", and c) has family members who were intimately connected to the regime. He supported the war in April and still does, even when the power keeps going out. Today he covered the Anti-Terror demostration in Baghdad, with photos. Good fly-on-the-wall stuff, and more than CNN plans on telling you.




UPDATE: CNN did, in fact, cover the demonstration. Huzzah for them.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Music Review: the EP Double Secret Edition



The difference between an EP (Extended Play) and an LP (Long Play, or what we call an album) is primarily economic, EP's are cheaper. Back when all records were on vinyl, there was also physical difference: the former was generally shorter and smaller than the latter. Now that everything's digital, the difference is more subtle. The fourth Led Zeppelin album, comprising 8 tracks, costs at least $15 on CD, depending on where you shop. The Raveonettes EP, Whip it On, also comprising 8 tracks, cost me $7.99 at Border's. The idea is that albums, being the premier unit of musical product, put a great deal of money into their production, and thus demand a higher return, whereas EP's, generally functioning as musical advertisements for up-and-coming bands, cost less to make and package. As certain people like their music with as little hype as possible, EP's can be the more interesting buy.

As part of my shameful giving-in to RIAA in October (don't worry, I've climbed back on the wagon. Everything else I buy will be independent releases, until the beast backs down. I swear), I bought two EP's from the cusp of the New Rock scene: that of the aforementioned Raveonettes, and the eponymous release by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Herein I shall review them both:


Whip It On by the Raveonettes has an interesting gimmick: all songs are deliberately under three minutes, using three chords, and recorded in B Flat Minor. While the first two restrictions are not that interesting, the last one did catch my fancy. A great many bands, especially punk bands, have ridden the three-chord-three-minute wagon to utter forgettableness. It basically means you don't really wanna bother learning to play, either out of artistic obstinance or sheer laziness. But to specifically record everything in the same key, and as obtuse a key as B Flat Minor, is suggestive of something else: the desire to create a continuous mood, examining a sound from many sides, like the facets of a diamond. I love this disc, but I can only listen to it at certain times, and in certain moods. It is the perfect CD for driving at night, the tunes are all somber yet fast, and cool as pavement in January. On the rare occasions when I find myself on the DC Beltway after dark, this is the bad boy I want with me. It's become a niche CD, which are usually your favorites.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs only has 5 tracks, and cost me two dollars more (you figure it out). But it's the more impressive of the two. The Spin-telligensia have blown this group up to be THE punk band of the new millenium, and for once they've been right about something other than their own hipness. The songs on Yeah Yeah Yeahs are each originally anarchic, well within the punk tradition yet working it's own alchemies of rythmn and texture.

Like the White Stripes, the YYY's are only drums, guitar and vocals, but being a threesome, one person handles each. Nick Zinner on guitar makes good mojo, fusing blues and punk and dead space into a powerful groove. Brian Chase is likewise bangingly minamist (think Scott Asheton's son who went to Julliard). Most critics get excited about Karen O(rzolek), the band's vocalist, and with reason: she's strikingly varied, able to scream in Dionysiac self-immolation, yet also able to chirp poppily along, and only half-ironically. And that's only when she isn't drone-crooning with such an erotic ache that I find myself wanting to...well, never mind.

They're a bold band, and they get your attention, and after 5 tracks, you want more. That's the perfect EP. But word around the campfire is that their album Fever to Tell, disappoints. Other rumours, that Karen O is having a hard time adjusting to the demands of a professional touring pop band, and is even beginning to rethink her status as a role model for girls (good for her. Would that Madonna had such intellectual honesty), might point the way to the Icarus path for this group. But sometimes failure can be more interesting than success, if the failure aimed higher.


That's it.

Gore-asm





When you think about it, there's really nothing surprising about Al Gore endorsing Howard Dean. Gore is the symbol of The Stolen Election, the lightning-pole around which liberal dreams of révanche collects. As such, he was bound to pick the angriest candidate. Also, Gore was noted for transforming himself into a leftist, for breaking with centrism to arouse the party base. As David Brooks points out today, so is Howard Dean.


Given that, I'm hoping even more that Dean gets nominated, and that Bush beats the pants off of him next year. It might shut the Left up for a few years.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Dead Presidents





Not to be a defender of a guy who makes insane amounts of money rhyming about himself, what a badass he is and how much certain people piss him off (but look! He's white!), but I'm not sure that Eminem's New Lyrics mean what people think they mean:




"F--k money. I don't rap for dead presidents.

I'd rather see the president dead.

It's never been said,

but I set precedents and the standards

and they can't stand it. ...

We as Americans. Us as a citizen.

We've got to protect ourselves ..."




The first line is an obvious lie. The second might mean he wants Bush to die, but it might also mean that he'd rather see the U.S. President shot in the street than submit his Amazing Talent™ to the crudity of commerce (which is, as I said, a lie). I could be wrong about this. Lines 3-5 are the typical Marshall Mathers self-idolization-and-paranoia routine (in case you were wondering why teenage boys should like him so much). The last two lines could be interpreted several different ways.




Honestly, I don't see Em cozying up too much with the liberal anti-war crowd. His last video showed Osama Bin Laden getting chased around by rappers who discovered his underground lair. We might just have to wait for the whole song and video to judge. If it turns out the the guy is mouthing sedition, string the sumbitch up. But someone hose Drudge down in the meantime.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Oh, That Other War...





In case anybody at the U.N. was paying attention, the Chechnyan mess is going on as robustly as when Yeltsin started it. How many years is this now? How many dead Chechnyans and Russians? And how many times has Chirac or ANSWER called Putin a grave threat to world peace?


In fairness, we haven't exactly been jumping down the bear's throat about it, either. But why Russia gets a pass for something as grotesque as the Chechen war has become, while the world focuses all it's attention on our far younger (and more successful at this stage) effort in Iraq, I cannot fathom.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Music Review - The Strokes: Room on Fire



When I quoted Lester Bangs a few weeks ago and said that no one listens to music, I realized that such a statement was to a degree ludicrous on its face. Of course people listen to music; it's not like it's good for anything else (sans LSD). What I meant was that very few (in elitist exaggerationist language, very few = none) listen to music charitably or unselfishly. This statement borders on ludicrosity (if it's not a word, then I just invented it) as well; I will explain. Most people put a piece of music in their respective audio systems and wait to be moved. The music is judged on one thing; whether it affects you in the way you want to be affected. The musicians themselves are non-entities; one's opinion on them as artists or human beings is based on whether their work pleases.

I'm not going to say that there's anything wrong with this; in one respect it's essential to approach music on a primal level. But in another respect, it's solipsistic. A piece of music touches more lives than just the ears that hear it. Every song has a creator who believes in it as art, and a promoter who believes in it as product. Every song was trying to achieve something intended at the same time to be personal to the artist and relevant to the world at large. Not all music achieves this goal. But unless you consider the goal, you can't judge it as a success or failure.

This goes for all music, even the kind you hate. Michael Bolton has devoted fans. KoRn says things in their music that a lot of kids appreciate. Some people find a great deal of truth in Snoop Dogg's ryhmes, and dig his beats besides. You can dismiss the fans of each as semi-literate sheep who are just to sheltered and intellectually lazy to get into "real" music, but you should keep in mind that they're saying more or less the same thing about you.

With that in mind, we proceed to reviewing the new Strokes album. The Strokes got a lot of attention with their debut, Is This It, two years ago, mostly because people were starving for something that didn't sound like N'Sync or the aforementioned KorN, something that sounded like, you know, rock. Call it the Nirvana Syndrome. Critics praised them as the New Velvet Underground (all bands from New York are VU clones in the minds of the superficial), and hailed Is This It as the biggest things since "Blitzkrieg Bop." The backlash set in just as fast, and before the Christmas season had begun, the Strokes, far from being rock's saviours, had become it's scapegoat: yet another collection of unoriginal wannabes sailing by on hype.

So far, so typical. The album underneath all this hooplah was actually quite a good one, not earth-shattering, but demonstrative of depth, poise, and liveliness. You can listen to it after the initial interest wears off, either deliberately or as background music, and it suits many moods. No, it wasn't revolutionary, but it was what people like me have been wanting to hear.

The second album, Room on Fire, released last month, hasn't met anything like the noise afforded the debut. The fans bought it and liked it, the detractors grumbled and soused and went back to fawning over Modest Mouse (not that there's anything wrong with that). This is typical as well. The problem is that both fans and critics of Room on Fire said basically the same thing about it: that it was essentially the same as Is This It. And that proves that people don't listen to music.

Superficially, yes, the albums are similar, both undeniably by the same band. But careful listeners will not the distinction: if Is This It was the band's homage to the late 70's new wave and punk scene (owing fare more to the Modern Lovers than the Ramones, but never mind), then Room on Fire is the Strokes' 80's album, full of trebly, almost synthesized tones as opposed the previous effort's constant garagey riffage. The songs are cooler, slower, and more comfortable, kept from degenerating into Who-level mod wussiness by Casablanca's vocals, which, in contrast to the rest of the band, are louder and hoarser, the sound of a man whose chill demeanor is starting to come undone.

Moreover, Room on Fire is more of an album than it's predecessor, a more cohesive whole. Several of the songs on Is This It were too thematically close together, which is probably the reason they were called "unoriginal". The new album doesn't have that problem; ideas abound and every song stands more or less distinct. That's an important improvement.

As you might surmise, I'm not going to try and determine which album is "better." Such objectivity is simply not possible. I can say that the Strokes are turning out worthwhile product, and under a good deal of pressure, are still playing with their sound. That's the sign of a band that is going somewhere. I'm definitely interested to see what they come up with next.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Blessings





Today is the feast of St. Francis Xavier, one of the earliest Jesuits and the patron of the Xavierian order. Today I expect I'll be asking the old boy to pray for us all. We could use it.


That's all. No snotty commentary today. Mayhaps tommorrow.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Thank Goodness





When I walk into any Urban outfitters, I start seeing the cool kids dressing in styles that I find quite visually appealing: classic-cut T-shirts and jeans, denim jackets, the simple, unaffected American look. I've been dressing that way for a few years now, wearing Atari and CBGB T-Shirts before they were massively cool, with floppy hats and old-school sneakers and such. Now everyone is dressing like me (except for the trucker hats. I saw John Deere hats on sale for $18. $18! Are you people stupid? Would you pay $18 for something that you'll be embarrassed to own in five years?).


Same with music. For years I'd been hoping that rock n' roll would stage a comeback, that some band or other would make a great noise and remind folk what it's all about. Now it's happened, and everybody's in on it. I feel so...trendy.


But I am saved. For according to GQ, the goatee is dead. I just grew a good-sized one this summer. Now I have one more reason to keep it. The fashion is not to be baby-faced. I won't be. So there!

Well, That Took No Time At All





A Utah polygamist who likes the young girls just claimed protection under the Texas Sodomy Law decision. The guy's lawyer says that with no compelling state interest, bigamy can hardly be a crime. This dillweed's a bit too unsavory to win, but how long before a man (or woman) with several adult spouses makes a photogenic appearance in court, and gets all the sympathy that well-dressed, personable gay couples get now? And will anyone now arguing for gay marriage care?

Monday, December 01, 2003

Rambles...





I got bored so I decided to write in Haiku:




Iraq is a mess

Unless it just looks that way

Believe what pleases you




Economy is good

Manufacturing is up

What is it we make?




I got new music

I want to post some reviews

Bet it won't happen.





Cheers.

Monday, November 24, 2003

You Know What You Never Hear Anymore? "Paparazzi"





One of the cameramen covering Michael Jackson's arrest had a heart attack and died in the middle of filming. I find this story a veritable fount of questions: 1) Why does the man's employer's statement that he was a "gentle man" not jibe with the fact that he apparently dropped dead while "racing down stone steps at the Santa Barbara jail," presumably to better capture the shocking human drama of a famous person walking out of a car and into a building, as Jackson was undoubtedley doing? 2) Why is this news? If a cameraman dropped dead while filming the ice-slicks on a snow day, would we be hearing about it? Does this man's parasitic relationship to Jackson render him worthy of our momentary attention? 3) Knowing that I have some obligation to feel bad for the poor fellow, who died while working, without much of a chance to put his soul in order, how do I repress the schadenfreude at seeing one of the yelping newsmutts, with their mindless devotion to sensation, brought so low? I feel just awful about the whole thing. Really, I do.


Stop giggling.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Assorted Rants, Or How the Mighty are Fallen



1. The Beatles. And the Boomer nostalgia machine strikes again. Every couple years or so they dust off songs we've bought, listened to, and recorded for 40 years, repackage them, and lay them on the altar of Our Long Lost Pop Innocence. Spare me. The Beatles were a good pop band with an honest dedication to crafting well-made pop songs, ones that shimmer with life even forty years down the road. That's all they were. Nuthin' wrong with that, but let's stop regurging up the same old slosh when there are thousands of bands trying to create something new that won't get heard because we keep wanting the same old slosh, served hot. For pity's sake, Let it Be.


2. JFK. See the first sentence of above. My birthday was yesterday, and every day after my birthday I have to put up with Camelot/Conspiracy fetishistas doing their merry best to make us feel gloomy before Thanksgiving. The man is dead. His son is dead. His presidency wasn't a golden age. The Kennedys aren't coming back to rescue us from our social anomie. They were a rich and pretty family that bought political power and used it to make asses of themselves. Their memory is not tragic. Lyndon Johnson was tragic; a shady backroom dealer with control issues who had no idea how to prosecute a war; a good-hearted man who hated bigotry and racism, who only wanted to lend the poor a helping hand, but left office in hatred and disgrace when he hit the wall of human power. Richard Nixon was tragic; an even shadier dealer who had no idea how to manage an economy; a farsighted-strategist who set in motion the dynamic that would end the Cold War twenty years later, who could not be forgiven by the cool kids because he was so earnestly uncool, and thus went over the edge of paranoia and went home in even bigger disgrace. John Kennedy is just dead. Deal.


3. Michael Jackson. Bleaaahhhhhh. Just Bleaaaaaahhhhhh. Who's to blame for this? What happened to that guy? How did he evolve from being the Golden Boy of Pop, the James Brown of his Generation with Beatles-like fan adoration, to that pasty pedophiliac Skeletor thing? I feel nausea, and not just at his face: at the machine that is now crushing him with all the glee with which they once deified him, and at us, because we buy it. Let him be carted off to prison if he so merits, but then let's shut up about him. If we should feel anything, we should be ashamed of ourselves, for devoting so much of our energy on someone who didn't need it or deserve it. Look at that face of his, if you can, and say to yourself: That is the face of a star.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

The Telegraph's Summation





Link via Andrew Sullivan:



A summary of that wisdom would go like this: (a) terrorism cannot be defeated in the long run, its perpetrators sooner or later have to be treated with, and their legitimate demands met in some form or other; (b) the Muslim world, and specifically the Arab portion of it, is culturally unsuited to freedom and democracy; (c) the Arab-Israeli dispute lies at the heart of the ills of the Middle East; (d) Israel is principally at fault in that conflict and must be pressured into making most concessions; (e) it is the EU that has played the lead role in bringing about the peace and prosperity of the Continent since 1945; (f) wongdoers on the international scene should be treated with via multilateral forums such as the UN and associated bodies such as the International Atomic Energy Agency; (g) endless discussion in such bodies is therapeutic in and of itself, and is invariably preferable to the use of force.




So, here's the challenge to all anti-war folk: How much of that do you agree with? If so, why? If not, what's your plan for defeating the enemy?

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Sooooo...Gay Marriage...





The more I think about the subject, the more tedious it becomes, the more I don't want to be involved in the discussion, the more I would wish that all TV shows not about the weather and the stock market be banned. Mostly I object to being required to put my nose in other people's business. I honestly don't want to have to care about the gay couple down the street, or what they do when the lights are turned off. That's their business, and as long as they behave with civility and decorum, I don't see that I should have to get involved. They want tolerance, I am willing to grant it. They want friendship, I see no reason to withhold it.


But that's not enough. Now the gay activist community (this is of course a broad generalization. No two gays, or even gay activists, are the same. But there is an ideology that drives many, and it is that I choose to address) wants their gayness to be my business. And they want me to like it. And if I don't, I'm no different from Cotton Ed Smith. I must silence my opinions and smile. The gay activist community is required to do nothing. They get to keep their disdain for straight culture, their disdain for religion, their hypersensitivity. The parades stay.


If I'm being maudlin, it's because I don't like broad, sweeping societal change without good reason. And I still don't see the point to gay marriage. What stops two gays or lesbians now from spending the rest of their lives together, if they should wish to do so? The fact that the "breeders" don't clap their hands in approval? Who cares? The disposition of property? Surely a will and a good lawyer can accomplish as much. The extension of health benefits? More reasonable, but a function of our excessively regulated and hence excessivly expensive healthcare system. $200 a month I give to a health insurance company so they can not pay my medical bills when I need them paid. The whole blessed house of cards is a bureaucratic abyss. I can sympathize with gay couples who have an extra hoop to jump through, but are their really many gay couples with a stay-at-home member? Aren't they already covered?


To be fair, this whole thing may well end up being a tempest in a teapot. Extending the name of marriage to gay couples may well be the last piece in their puzzle of normality. And normality may be the thing that settles them down and allows them to re-integrate into society as full stalwart members, dedicated to its protection and continued existence rather than tearing its mores down one by one (my, what a sweeping mass of generalizations. I humbly beg patience again). In a few decades, we might hardly notice gay culture or gay people, because they really will be just like the majority.


It would be nice if such were so. I have never been one for demonizing gays qua gays, merely a "queer" culture that seems to want to do nothing but shock Mommy and Daddy. If gay marriage were to give homosexuals a reason to leave all that behind, it might well be worth the change, provided that we set up some hard legal principles that prevents the polyamorists and pedophiles from riding in on the slipstream.


This problem does need to be addressed, however many assurances Andrew Sullivan makes. Identity politics has done much for the gay community, and I am unconvinced that the same could not, within a few decades, empower other sexual minorities and thus undo the last of our taboos. Looked at rationally, there is no reason why any uncoerced sexual act should be considered wrong. Most of them do no immediate physical harm. Sure, a man who has two wives or a woman with a ten-year-old husband might be abusing them, but it need not necessarily be so. Desire is not abuse. The two come from parallel but different motivations.


What we have ended up doing in our society is divorcing the two purposes of sex, the unitive and the procreative (yes, Virginia, the act does exist in part so that the world can be peopled). More and more we have treated the latter as an irritating block to the former, far more important purpose. Sex has ceased to be the creative force that brings and affirms life and has become the pleasure-button we slam like so many descalped rats. I don't see that continuing on this path will do other than cheapen sex further, which cheapens life further, because sex is the source of life. As I wrote after Laurence v. Texas, this is not the fault of homosexuals exclusively or even primarily. Their rise to toleration is but a symptom of it. I would not wish to undo that same rise to toleration. I would rather wish we could stop using it as an excuse to further the proposition that nothing is more important than satisfying one's desires.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Apologias





I disappeared for four days because I was out of town. New York hasn't changed much. It is a world unto itself, a place of almost solar intensity from the mass of people crammed into such a little space. As to why I was there, I will simply say:




Ah, you are beautiful, my beloved,

ah, you are beautiful!

Your eyes are doves

behind your veil.

Your hair is like a flock of goats

streaming down the mountains of Gilead.

Your teeth are like a flock of ewes to be shorn,

which come up from the washing.

All of them big with twins, none of them thin and barren.

Your lips are like a scarlet strand;

your mouth is lovely.

Your cheek is like a half-pomegranate

behind your veil.



You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride,

you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eyes,

with one bead of your necklace.

How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride,

how much more delightful is your love than wine,

and the fragrance of your ointments

than all spices!

Your lips drip honey, my bride,

sweetmeants and milk are under your tongue;

And the fragrance of your garments

is the fragrance of Lebanon.


-Song of Songs 4:1-3, 9-11

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Tommorrow, and Tommorrow, and Tommorrow





Day by Day, the cartoon by Chris Muir (which I am linking in place of the now-defunct Brunching Shuttlecocks. How could you, Lore? How could you?), went after Tom Tommorrow today, and Tom's attitude toward's pro-war bloggers. Needless to say, Tom's argument is a cheap shot: "If you support the war so much, why don't you enlist?" It's also intellectually dishonest: what's being objected to isn't our (I don't consider myself exclusively a war-blogger, but I do support the war, and I've been called a chicken hawk before) lack of enlistment, but our support of the war.


But whatever, I cut Tom Tommorrow lots of slack, because he's a funny guy, and he inks a funny cartoon. I've long enjoyed "This Modern World" for what it is, a skillful use of satire. Tom gets that the best way to do satire is to take honest opinions and place them in an inappropriate context, or twist them just the tiniest bit, so that they land in the land of risibility. It's a simple technique, which is why it works. Sensible people appreciate this, and thus enjoy the satirist's art but don't try to put too much stock in the satirist as a source of wisdom. It's like getting your political philosophy from oh, Jon Stewart.


But back to today's Day by Day. The last panel quotes Tom in an interview with the Buffalo News. I will steal Muir's punchline and quote him:


I think that there are no good conservative cartoonists. Good humor is about the real underdog taking on the powerful. That's what satire is all about. Conservative humor is picking on people who have less than you. That's not satire, that's just mean.


I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Tom Tommorrow makes more than I do, and that his status as a syndicated cartoonist makes him more influential, or more powerful, than mine as a mere schoolteacher, and then I'm gonna say that Tom Tommorrow is an aliterate tube-monkey if he really believes what he said (I'm making fun of him, see?). How profound does your ignorance need to be if you think that conservative humor involves nothing more than saying "Hey there, Sambo, how's being POOR workin' out for you? Wanna dollar? Go fetch! Haw haw haw!" Can he cite one instance of a conservative humorist saying anything even remotely like that? Has he even read P.J. O'Rourke?


Earth to liberals: Conservatives do not make fun of poor people. Making fun of poor people is mean, and besides, poor people do a pretty damn good job of making fun of themselves (watch enough stand-up comics, and you'll see them start to jive and riff on their humble beginnings). Conservative humor is aimed directly at liberals, who are mostly not poor (poor people who vote Democrat do so because the Democrats promise them the spoils of victory. If the Democrats ran on their moral or foreign policy agenda and left the social programs off the table, they'd never win an election). Conservatives, rather than mock the poor, mock the people who think poverty would just vanish if we cared enough/threw enough money at it/stopped trying to gain wealth in the first place, rather than commerce being in a strong enough position to train and hire poor people to work their way out of poverty. They mock the people who only seem to care about the military when the military is getting shot at, never when it's time to prepare the military to get shot at (these are usually the same people who proclaim that the military will never have to get shot at again, and then blame the failure of this prediction on the fact that we have a military). In short, conservative humorists mock people who think like Tom Tommorrow. Maybe that's why he thinks they're so mean.


No Blood for Oil





Andrew Sullivan posted this piece of nastiness by Ted Rall. It actually made me angry. Note the deftness with which he seperates the "Iraqi resistance" from Saddam's regime, as though if they win another Baathist Sunni dictatorship isn't going to come to power. But here's the beauty:


Soon the American public will note that the anticipated five-year price tag of $500 billion, with a probable loss of some 4,000 lives and 10,000 wounded, is not a reasonable price to pay to get our 2.5 million barrels of oil flowing to the West each month. This net increase, of just 0.23 percent of total OPEC production, will not reduce U.S. gasoline prices.


Let's assume that this is true, just because I feel like being silly. If this is true, and Bush and Cheney know it is true, then MAYBE THEY HAVE SOME OTHER MOTIVATION FOR THIS WAR, WHICH DOES NOT INVOLVE OIL. MAYBE THEY THINK THAT THIS WAR WILL INCREASE U.S. SECURITY AND DECREASE TERRORISM IN THE LONG TERM. MAYBE, SINCE THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO DRILL IN ALASKA AND INCREASE OIL IMPORTS FROM RUSSIA AND THE FORMER SOVIET BLOC, BUSH AND CHENEY DON'T CARE MUCH ABOUT IRAQ'S OIL. Ya think?


Oh, but there's more:


If someone you know is considering taking a job with the Americans, tell him that he is engaging in treason and encourage him to seek honest work instead. If he refuses, you must kill him as a warning to other weak-minded individuals.


This, you see, is how the Iraqi people are to be freed from oppression. All occupation is oppression, you see. When we occupied Western Germany following World War 2, we were oppressing them. Ditto Japan. In fact, when our troops were massing in Britain prior to D-Day, we were, in effect, occupying them, and therefore oppressing them from their legitimate desire to follow the popular European habit of learning to say Ja, Herr Hauptmann, Ich Weiss wo die Juden sind!


He does this, of course, on Veteran's Day, so that he can make clear his contempt for all appreciation of military sacrifice and traditions of same. Which begs the question: what is Rall's purpose in writing this op-ed? He can't be trying to persuade anyone to his point of view, not with the evident delight with which he pokes fingers in sensitive areas. Rall's given up on the soldiers: "Nor can we disabuse them of the propaganda that an occupier isn't always an oppressor." What then, must he think of those of us who silently voted to send and keep the soldiers there? Beyond hope, obviously. We'll give in when the body count hits X + 1 American soldiers, and/or we realize that we're still paying $1.45 a gallon for gas. Only force may prevail against us.


I'm waiting to be told by one or another that Rall is writing satire, or something else not to be taken literally. Maybe so. But his cartoons suggest otherwise to me, and that makes me wonder: just what does Rall think need be done to remove the Bush "junta" from power? What if the foolish American people return him to power in 2005? What would Che do?

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Because I Don't Have Enough to Do...





I've long had a dream of having a band or musical project of my own. Last night, I made it a reality. I went into the studio last night, and came out three hours later with the first single for A Giggle's Worth Records, "Who Forgot the Guns?" by my band, The Nerve (right now The Nerve is just me, but we hope to fix that). I was incredibly pleased with how it came out. The way it sounds on CD is exactly the way I wanted it to sound in my head. Aaron Altieri at Loop Studios was brilliant at producing the single.


Now I have to decide what to do with it. MP3.com beckons.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

While We're On That Subject...





Brendan Miniter has the story I've been waiting for, that of our military successes in Iraq since the occupation began. Ever since the drip-drip-drip of daily U.S. casualties began in April, I've wondered why we fold at home aren't getting any info on what our boys are doing in response to the terrorist. Guerrillas depend on a public reputation for invincibility to change public opinion to their favor; they do this by attacking with force at the weakest points of the enemy's forces. As the news has come pouring in, I've begun to wonder whether this wasn't happening to us. Miniter's story suggests an entirely different picture: not just good news in the form of Iraq reconstructing and Iraqis becoming tolerant if not appreciative of American rule, but of our soldiers fighting the bad guys and killing them. Being as how knocking down the American public's confidence in the success of the mission is the Baathist's only hope of victory (just as it was Ho Chi Minh's), one has to wonder why the Pentagon isn't getting stories of our battlefield success out more?


I suspect that part of the problem is the reluctance of the military to start putting out that grim catspaw of the left, Vietnam's infamous "body count." No, we shouldn't exactly be celebrating the deaths of our fellow man, bloodthirsty fascist though he be. But niether should we give to the American public or the world at large the impression that our soldiers do nothing but walk around Fallujah with bulls-eyes on their chests while the guys shooting at them merely slink away into the crowd, laughing. If the nature of guerrilla warfare is partly political, so must be the response to it.

For Veteran's Day





Let us honor the fallen and the fighting on this day. Here is the ghost of last century's struggle:



In Flanders Fields



In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.





We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.





Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.





And here, a moving piece from today's bloody headlines:Elegy for a Young Officer




Finally, Catholics remember today as the Feast of St. Martin of Tours, the Patron Saint of Soldiers (How's that for a happy coincidence? I wonder if Ludendorff and Haig planned it that way). Martin was an officer in Constantine's imperial bodyguard until his conversion and monastic career. The following prayer is attributed to him:




Lord, if your people still have need of my services, I will not avoid the toil. Your will be done. I have fought the good fight long enough. Yet if you bid me continue to hold the battle line in defense of your camp, I will never beg to be excused from failing strength. I will do the work you entrust to me. While you command, I will fight beneath your banner.





May blessings come to our soldiers this day, and victory hereafter.

It Isn't All Fury in the Arab World





At least one Arab writer, a self-described "liberal" blames the Arabs themselves for their situation. He condemns the Arab media for one-sided rabble-rousing, posits Israel as a model of democracy, and says that the U.S. will succeed in Iraq as it succeeded in Japan and Germany. Watch the terrorists put this guy on their hit list, if they haven't already. Watch "liberals" in the U.S. and Europe not care.

Monday, November 10, 2003

What is this, Touch?





Watched football with the old man yesterday, and came to a dispiriting conclusion: No one in the NFL knows how to tackle anymore. When I was in youth football, they taught me that the way to bring someone down was to hit him hard accross the waist and legs. This way, you shift his center of gravity and undo his forward momentum. I watched two games yesterday, and everyone was trying to tackle by grabbing the ball-carrier by the shoulders. This does not work. It was frustrating to watch offenses pile up yards that should have been stopped at first contact. It isn't that the running backs or receivers are getting stronger and faster, it's that tackling isn't getting done. No wonder these guys celebrate for two minutes after knocking someone down.

Friday, November 07, 2003

New Link!





An old college chum, the super-liberal Matt Viglione, has just started his blog, Le Tocsin (I'd tell you what that means, but it's been years since I left behind college-level French for grade-school-level German and I don't want to be accused of rendering things in "demi-francais"). He's just starting, but already he has a pleasing rant about the French and the EU. Of course, he's as liberal as I am conservative, but I support a vicious sense of humor, no matter who it serves.

One More Thing Re: Confederate Flags





If I was in charge of the NAACP down in South Carolina, here's what I'd do:




1. Buy up as much private land as possible near any state landmark that flies the Confederate flag.




2. Construct a large statue of General William Tecumseh Sherman on said land (But Sherman marched through Georgia, you say? Yes, he did. But Sherman's boys regarded So. Carolina as the state "to blame" for the war, because they were the first to secede, and so they ripped that state up in the spring of 1865 with double the fury that they had loosed on Georgia the previous fall).




3. When offended white folk come round, simply state that the statues reminds black South Carolinians of their history and heritage, and their desire to celebrate the man who loosed them from bondage. If someone suggests that President Lincoln was that man, smile politely and say that the Emancipation Proclamation was all very good, but it was the Union Army that freed the slaves, wherever they went, and since Sherman's army was the first Union troops to do more than land on the beaches of South Carolina so that rebels could shoot them, he is therefore the chief agent of emancipation for South Carolina's black population. This is a state issue, see?




4. Guard the statues from vandals. Failing that, be sure to wipe off the rotten eggs and wads of filth from the statues each morning.




5. Wait for the offended white folk to get the point. If they never do, at least you'll have something to look at that doesn't remind you of the bad old days.

Solar Power from the Moon?





The Director of the Institute for Space Systems Operations at the University of Houston thinks so. It sounds great on paper, but I'm somehow skeptical (make your own joke here). I think obviously we need a bunch of other scientists to jump in and say whether it'll work or not, then we need to factor costs, then we need to deal with the international agreements regarding the moon, and then we'd need to divvy up power harvesting rights and whatnot. Then we'd need to build the things (will we need to make another moon rocket? can a space shuttle even land on the moon?).


But if it can work, it might be a worthwhile project for the U.S. Government, the United Nations, and the world.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Bush Sums it Up





At the Ronald Reagan Building today:

Sixty years of Western nations excusing and accommodating the lack of freedom in the Middle East did nothing to make us safe because in the long run stability cannot be purchased at the expense of liberty...


Do we get what we're fighting for yet? Now, if you're feeling hesitant about whether this War can succeed, ask yourself...what choice do we have?

I'm a Good Old Rebel





The mess with Howard Dean provides me with a perfect microcosm of exactly what's wrong with the substance of American political discussion, and how it has degenerated into a stupid game of symbol-waving and "gotcha" playing.


All Howard Dean was trying to say was that he wanted average Joes in the South to vote for him. He never expressed affinity for the Confederate flag or what it stood for. Even Al Sharpton concedes that. Dean was using the term as a descriptor, not as a rally point.


I know that. You know that. I know you know, and vice versa. Everybody knows. So why do we care about this?


I hate the Confederate flag. I don't disapprove of it, I don't express concern at it's multicultural message. I hate it. My familiy's from Pennsylvania; I have two ancestors who fought in blue during the Civil War (Yes, the CIVIL WAR, not the "War Between the States," not the "War of Northern Agression," the Civil War. You don't get to name it, because YOU LOST. Dig?), and I know plenty about the roots of that conflict. Don't whine to me that Jeff Davis was just about to free the slaves (He was only even considering it because the Confederate Army was desperate for manpower in the spring of 1865, and he never quite got around to it, because U.S. Grant, who by the way could have whupped Stonewall Jackson any day of the week and twice on Sunday, when that fundamentalist looney would be sitting on his duff eating lemons, saved him the trouble). Don't cry to me about how horrible and illegal President Lincoln's actions were (have you ever known a state to permit a portion of it to break away without a fight? What do you think this is, a playpen?).
Especially don't throw all that grandiose state's right's rhetoric in my face, as though none of you chuckleheads had even heard of slavery before Lincoln was elected (then what did you secede for? Tarriffs?). If the principle of state's rights has been eroded well past anything the Founders might have intended, and I think it has, then it's well past time that Southrons admitted their share of culpability in that erosion. To wit: one of the reasons the Federal Government has aggrandized itself and broken down state's rights piece by piece was because you lot used the principle of state's rights as a shield for something else. It wasn't the only reason, and you're not the only ones to blame (nor are you the only racists 'round these United States, nor are you primarily racists now). But you didn't help, because no one bought it.


Given as that's my opinion, you can probably describe for yourselves my reactions when I see Confederate flags. As far as I'm concerned, you might as well start singing about how you'da wished you killed three million yankees instead of what you got. But the important thing is that it's my reaction. I know that the person who puts a rebel flag on their window is not necessarily saying "I hate niggers and yankees." Most of the time he's trying to say, "I'm from the South, and I'm proud," or sometimes "I'm a bad-ass Hell-raiser." So most of the time I let it slide. I do wish that they'd find another symbol, but it's really none of my business what folks in Georgia fly from their homes and pickups. The people I've met on the few occasions I've been South have been honest, plain-dealing Americans. We need more of 'em, truth be told. And Howard Dean wants more of them in the Democratic party.


Instead, he's being mocked. In the "youth debate" on MTV a few nights ago (Voting is sooooo kewl!!!!), Dean got pinned down to admitting that the confederate flag is a racist symbol. So now Al Sharpton gets to condemn him for wanting racists in his party, and John Edwards can pee on him for calling Southerners racists. See that? Because of a single image Dean used, the Loud Unqualified Candidtate and the I'm-the-New-Clinton-Look-at-me-Look-at-Me candidate get to make themselves look better based on things that Howard Dean didn't say and doesn't think. I'm not a fan of Howard Dean, and I won't be voting for him should he win the nomination, but we owe it to our republic to listen to what our candidates are saying, and not how what they're saying makes us feel. So we should treat Dean, Kerry, Gephardt, and the rest of the Nine Walkers (yes, even Sharpton). We might, if we're feeling crazy, decide to treat the President that way, too.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Lamentation





The results of TTLB Ecosystem are in, and I'm a Wiggly Worm. Skeptical, meanwhile, has moved up to a Rodent. This is a just punishment for wishing to better him, but bitter is this defeat, my brothers. I must remain resolved.

Tunes



The vast majority of those who write negative customer reviews of New Rock bands on Amazon would do well to simply write "I AM NOT TRENDY" and spare us the left-field diatribes ("If you like this I feel sorry for you. This is such utter crap...etc."). We could then safely ignore them, and they might get a chance to engage in some self-analysis, and then try listening to the music.

Most people don't do this, as Lester Bangs noted long ago. Most people listen to image. They judge bands based on appearance, name (I even do this. I cannot like Blink-182, because their name is dumb. I can't relate to it), and reputation, deciding from these whether they want to make an investment in the music. They'll stick to a genre like the guy who orders the same thing every time he goes to a Chinese restaurant. It's safe.

I've intended this as a intro to review the new Strokes album, but I haven't the time. Parent-Teacher conferences loom.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Following the Lead





I've registered this place with The Truth Laid Bear, which purports to be a weblog ecosystem of sorts. I'm really just playing lemming, Skeptical did it already. Maybe I'll get to be a lemming, or Adorable Rodent, and beat out his Slithering Reptile score. Mwa ha ha!

Happy Halloween





Keys to a fun Witchy day:




1. Don't go out when it's light.




2. Don't wear a brightly colored costume so that cars can see you. Instead, wear a dark costume, get hit by a car, and sue the driver for lots of money.




3. Don't check your candy for pins. Sickos deserve a fun halloween too. Instead, bite really hard into candy bars so that your teeth feel the pin, and then egg the sicko's house.




4. Don't be rude or angry towards the nauseatingly wholesome Christian family that puts bible verses into your bag instead of candy. Egg their house instead.




5. Don't give candy out to people who aren't wearing a costume, or who think putting a football jersey on constitutes wearing a costume. Spray them with the hose, unless they're black, because that would be culturally insensitive (think Bull Connor). Instead, throw eggs at them.




6. Don't get mad at kids that leave flaming bags of excrement on your doorstep. Get even.




7. Finally, don't listen to the health Nazis who make you feel bad for eating candy. Eat lots of candy. Eat lots of candy, and don't brush your teeth. You'll wake up feeling nice and sinful on All Saint's Day, and isn't that what we all want?

Thursday, October 30, 2003

SEVEN POINT TWO PERCENT OMG!!!!!





One of two things may be derived from the media reaction to the Quarter 3 economic figures:




1. Drudge gets bored when he can't splatter the headlines with BIG NEWS™.




2. The Republican media (Fox, NRO) is as determined to render Bush an economic leader as the Democratic media (NYT, NPR) is determined to render him an economic bandit. Given the current political climate, can't say I blame them.




As to the substance of the news, that the economy grew substantially in the Third Quarter, one may say: of course the economy is recovering. It always does. Duh. Whether this turns out to be a genuine boom remains to be seen, but I don't see the economy shrinking any time soon.

Music Review: Jet - Get Born



The chief virtue of most Australian bands that make it stateside is their simplicity, their focus on their sound instead of their look. The Saints, Australia's premier late-70's punk band, never dressed punk (here's the cover of their 1977 album, (I'm) Stranded). AC/DC had Angus Young's schoolboy look, but that was only for Angus, and it was intended humorously. Unlike the The Strokes' rich-boy bum ensembles, the Hives' neo-mod uniforms and the White Stripes' peppermint chic, The Vines were the only band of the origonal "new rock" quadrifecta that didn't have a ready-made look (which may be why they've slipped off the radar screens). Australian boys play rock n' roll, unapologetically, and they know it ain't their job to look pretty. That's for the wankers from Pommey-land and pretentious Yanks.

I can't say that in perfect honesty that Jet is an image-free band. I see Beatle boots and flares on their cover, and artwork that seems to want to evoke Revolver besides. That's fine, though. Retro only partially ever becomes cool again, but in our retro-everything culture it never becomes completely out of style again, either. And it doesn't matter, because Jet's got the goods when you pop their CD (which has more Hard Day's Night-ish pychedelia fun painted on it) into your player.
Like myself, most fans will buy this on the strength of "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" which seems to have the balls-out, garage-rock riffage that's so blessed hip these days. They won't be dissapointed, because half the album's in a similar vein: quick and gloriously sludgy rock songs that sound either like the Who or Sonics depending on your desire to claim them for your respective tribe. The other half is suprising, however: smooth, piano-led blues ballads that sound like they could have been scraped off the floor of the Abbey Road or Let it Be studios. One or two such songs are obligatory; to confidently toss on five or six takes guts and a sure sense of one's songwriting skills. That indicates promise in my book.

Comparisons to the Vines are inevitable, because the two bands are so aesthetically similar. It is generally the reviewer's task to run his musical-knowledge decoder ring accross the respective albums ASIN number and tell you which one is "better." I can't do that, not at this stage. The only objective difference between "good" music and "bad" music is the effort of the musicians to craft a sound unique to them. Jet has done so, and it sounds good. So have the Vines. Enjoy whichever you bought first, and call the others wannabes if it pleases you. Or buy 'em both and put them in two seperate stereos on either side of your room and let 'em fight it out. I give this piece of product the thumbs up. The rest is up to you.

Yipe.





Every blogger and his dog went after Camille yesterday. Instapundit (why don't I have him linked? Lemme fix that) links three: here, here, and here. Most of these are snide or inaccurate, but still...I feel so trendy. Gah.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Slaying the Mother





I have been a tremendous fan of Camille Paglia's ever since, during Christmas break of my senior year, my grandfather gave me a copy of Sexual Personae. To say that it blew my mind would be to use the only cliché that remotely conveys what this book did for me. For the first time, I was reading an intellectual who feared no idea, from any source, who thought of the past in terms of the rythmns of the earth, and though thoroughly feminist, wrote about men and the male psyche with understanding, even sympathy. She gave voice to thoughts I had hesitated to express. Naturally I read her two essay collections, and her Salon column, and ate up every word. She has a sense of humor and a depth of learning that amazed me then and still impresses me. She was my guru.


I am far from her today. This is not because she is less funny, less learned, or less able to skewer the deserving on her blood-guttered pikes. It is a function of time. I'm older, and quicker to recognize a thinker's words as the product of someone else's inner monologue. I am not betrayed by disagreement. And I find much to disagree with her about today. They are as follows:




1. The War. Let us begin with her first words, when asked by a Salon's Kerry Lauerman about the war: "This Iraq adventure is a political, cultural and moral disaster for the United States." Is it now? How a political disaster? We haven't lost yet. How a cultural disaster? American culture hasn't yet been changed by the war, and I think the war has, contra the declamations of the chattering class, merely brought to light the cultrual differences between ourselves and the rest of the First World, rather than created them. How a moral disaster? In what perverse ethical calculus does removing Saddam Hussein from power and putting a democratic government, one less susceptible to using terror as a foreign policy tool, one less willing to build and trade in weapons of mass destruction, a moral disaster? Does Camille really want to compare the Iraqi deaths with those suffered at oh, Hiroshima?


This kind of yippy, contentless carping is precisely the kind of thing Paglia has been so good at denouncing in the past, and still makes a show of doing. Ah, yes, the CIA just didn't get that Saddam was acting out of Arab machismo, pretending to have WMD's. And all those Kurds obliglingly died because that's their culture! Or so I might be erroneously reading, because the old girl obligingly flip-flops and says that "Of course it was worth trying to get rid of Saddam -- but not by an obsessive-compulsive distortion of American foreign policy." So we can do it, as long as we aren't too interested in doing it. Or something. She goes on: "It had to be done through the slow, patient process of international diplomacy, to show that our interests weren't simply selfish, that it wasn't just a naked grab for oil."


That loud rythmic pounding you hear is me hitting my head against my desk. Leaving the annoyingly undead canard about blood for oil aside, has Paglia been sleeping underneath the University of the Arts library for the past twelve years? International diplomacy has had it's chance to dispose of Saddam, and they've preferred to let him stay, to placate the tyranny of the status quo and to keep the Arabs focusing their hatred on the "shitty little country" (Israel). Paglia makes no mention of the French motivations of French intransigence or the numerous historical failures of the UN to enforce international peace. It must all be our fault. Whose got the tunnel-vision again?




2. The Media. I'm going ease off the vitriol now, because Paglia's much better when she gets to the subjects of her competency. She's long been an appreciator of Rush Limbaugh, and sums him up justly, as a media critic, giving notice to his central skill as a commentator and his seeming slipping of late (it sounds a bit apocryhpal to me, but she's been listening to him with a great deal more diligence than I have. She gets the benefit of the doubt). It's safe to say you won't find any other Democrat treating Limbaugh as anything other than a hornèd beast deservingly cast down into the depths of the Inquirer with Bat-boy and J-Lo's secret fling.


I even felt the old thrill of recognition when she lambasted Sean Hannity, a blaring radio jackass who gives me a headache, whom I can't even say I agree with because he never says anything that has substance to be agreed with. While obviously I find nothing wrong with someone who offers a conservative Catholic voice, Hannity is not the man to do so. There is no gentility in him, no sense of fair play, no treatment of all men as his brothers (I'm pretty sure that's in the Catechism somewhere). Plus, he's a master of monotony. If you're looking to spice up a late-afternoon party, have your guests play the Sean Hannity Drinking Game. Whenever Sean says "typical liberal," drink once. Whenever Sean says "liberal media" drink twice. Whenever Sean has a rude shouting match with a liberal caller, chug. First one to pass out and be freed by unconsciousness from his nasal, AV-club voice wins.


But Paglia misses her true chance here. She portentously refers to Sean as Beaver Jr., it's-the-50's-all-over-again ("typical liberal" Hey, who said that?). She blames all this polarization on Clinton, and says he should have resigned (never mind that she joined the chorus of Clinton's-a-bad-boy-but-Ken-Starr-is-Torquemada crowd, as if that was going to convince Silly Billy to resign. If you want someone gone, you need to sound like you mean it. That's as true of Presidents as it of Third-World dictators).


From a woman who once came to an understanding of why the 50's were so protective (World War II, that is), I expected a bit more than an I-despair-for-the-future routine, which has become de rigeur for rabble-rousers of all political persuasions. So, let's see, what can possibly have come along to convince the American people that morality should be stricter, clearer, less weighed down by nuance...Gosh, I don't know. Have we been attacked recently? Denounce Hannity and his spiritual fellows on the left all you want, but understand that you need to address the issue that has helped him rise. We're still waiting for the complex, culturally nuanced response to 9-11 that the Left keeps assuming is obvious.




3. Ze Rock. Shifting gears once again, Paglia is better still when going after her favorite subject, pop culture. I've never been a Madonna fan. In fact I've always found her a tediously self-involved public figure who made idly pleasing but otherwise forgettable music. Reading Camille, who's one of Madonna's great hymn-writers, hasn't changed my mind, but it has made me think about how art and sound and commerce mesh. Madonna, to my mind, has become a star far more for her videos than her songs, which are pleasant enough on the first listen but irritating on repetition. And repeated they were. I grew up in the 80's, the period of Ms. Cuccone's ascendancy, and basically spent second through seventh grade watching MTV. Madonna was everywhere. Michael Jackson was everywhere. Hair metal was everywhere. Punk fire and blues soulfulness were nowhere. Camille still doesn't get grunge. Like many boomers, she thought it was a rebellion against the 60's, when it was against the 80's. And she still can't see anyone in the music industry today that is worthy of the true status of "star," as though this were an objective standard. She can only see Britney and company, when nobody except Britney ever believed her to be more than a Barbie doll. I would love to read Camille's take on a band with the influences, image, and pyschosexual internal dynamic of the White Stripes. But Camille wouldn't take them seriously, or just see them as a gimmick retro-act. Stars are made, not born. There's plenty of bands and artists that deserve stardom, Camille. Get to work.


Of course, she's far more interested in stars than I am. I'm a punk by loyalty, and punks prefer anti-stars. Camille never got this either; she's said the Velvet Underground was her punk band, and never saw anything in the Sex Pistols that wasn't in the Velvets. The disdain of first-generation punk towards the entire idea of pop stardom (Lou Reed was never hostile to that) seems to have passed her by, or been dismissed as unworthy of comment. Being as how most punk bands ended up either becoming pop stars or self-destructing (or, in the case of the Pistols, both), it's easy to say that this disdain was juvenile or false. But it doesn't dismiss the question of why a culture should have a role for humans to transform themselves into the kind of monsters that Paglia claims Madonna has become.




4. The Blogosphere. "Words, Words, Words!" So Hurricane Camille describes the majority of blogs, as though she were Hamlet surrounded by a sea of noisy Polonii. No flair have they, no style, no pop! They do not command the eye. They engage in incessant circles of meta-commentary, which has quickly disintegrated into bipartisan name-calling rather than arguments about ideas. Most bloggers aren't good writers, and no "major figure" has emerged from the blogosphere


She's right. And once again, she's missed the point.


The problem lies in the fact that Paglia cannot stop showing her colors as a "pop-culture baby". Television is her medium of choice, her connection to the world at large. She's done well in her writing to put forth the idea that television is a narrative shared by society at large, that it is the incessant womb-tomb of American culture. Where she and I part company is when she insists on making judgements about people based on television appearances. Television is our most powerful voice, that's true. It's also an incredibly superficial and myopic voice. Sophisticated folk can find powerful subtext in it. But most folks can't, or won't bother, and the fact that the intelligent have to refer to the subtext of television means that there can't be much to the main text.


Paglia doesn't recognize this as a flaw in her reasoning. She doesn't think that George W. Bush can possibly be a good president, because he looks bad on television. She sized up Bill and Hillary based on pre-packaged prime-time spots, and then was shocked (shocked!) when they turned out to be different people in real life. Likewise, I suspect her opinion of Rumsfeld is based on a superficial reading of his televised press conferences (he's "out of control"? Why? Because he believed the war should happen? Was Henry Stimson "out of control"?). Well, I may admit that television is "America's kingmaker," as Paglia put it long ago, but that doesn't mean I think it should be so.

The blogosphere is not about producing major figures. It's not about about producing high-level scholastic thought. It's about creating an alternative voice to television, which hypnotically induces a passive, one-way information flow. The blogosphere is two-way, three-way, every-way. There are no major figures; there are no voices that rise to prominence except by the power and intellect of the voice itself. There's a great deal of stupidity that passes itself off as clever in the valley of the blogs. But there isn't any that gets a free pass. Here's a perfect example of a pagan realm of combat and honor; "no law in the arena," as her last book, Vamps & Tramps, proclaims. Sure, it isn't a palace of wisdom yet. We have to traverse the road of excess first. Let's not give up before the genesis is over.




Sexual Personae states that every generation drives its plow over the bones of the dead. There is truth to this, and one central to Paglia's entire view of the universe. We must remember the reality that spawned us, or that reality will make us suffer for it. Paglia's generation, that saw everything through the lens of the the same flickering light, will one day be pushed aside by their children, who saw more than they ever wanted to see through a thousand openings. This will not happen because my generation is stronger, wiser, or deeper than hers. It will happen because they have had their time, and we must have ours. The Earth so demands. Reading Paglia today with a critical eye makes me think of how unfair this process is. But it isn't my process, and it will destroy me as pitilessly as it profits me now. So I must move on from my once guru, admire though I do. I have plowin' to do.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Meanwhile, Out In Left Field...





I broke boycott. I was at Walmart, and that thrice-damned and thrice-rocking Jet song "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" was attached to my mind, and they had the CD, Get Born, and it was $9.88. And I bought it. And it rocks my socks. They're as good as the Vines, and the Vines are vastly underrated by the American music-buying public. I'm gonna review them in more detail sometime this week, but in the meantime, the Strokes newie is out, and the floodgates are open. Boo-yah.

New Noise





Quite a weekend for the terrorists. Shootings, bombings, mayhem galore. Lots of death made. They're so good at that. I can imagine many thinking we ought to "rethink" (read: cut and run from) our role in Iraq. Can't do it, folks. That's what they expect us to do. They expect us not to be able to take it. They expect us to cry and find our wiggle-way out. We have to prove them wrong.


Perhaps these words sound childish to you. They are. Adults know that not every fight is worth fighting, that some fools who think wrong of you can be safely left to their foolishness. Children don't know that, because it isn't true for them: being thought a weakling or a fool in childhood invites being attacked, physically and verbally, by those who wish to prove that they aren't. It's a similar dynamic in prisons.


Now ask yourselves, who do our self-exploding Islamofascist brothers more resemble: sober adults or terrified children? How shall we deal with such?

Friday, October 24, 2003

Unlimited Supply! EMI!



EMI is going to sell their entire catalog online. Popular demand does have an effect. This could change things.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

The Children Have to Go to School





I've been having a bit of a head-to-head with Skeptical as regards public education and the teacher's unions. I am continuing it here because the comment buttons are getting a little pokey loading up (Blogger's having code issues), and I think I want a higher word count. Morat wanted to know why conservatives abhor teacher's unions. I gave a couple of answers: a) their ever-willingness to embrace the new-and-hyphenated over the tried-and-true, b) their resistance to reforms such as school-choice, and c) they're mostly liberal and give a great deal of cash to the DNC.


He then asked me "Who would be a better choice to judge teaching methods than teachers and educators?" A reasonable question, but he also said that "Private schools have massively inflated success rates already (it's nice when you can have selective enrollment), and that tends to lead to laymen reaching stupid conclusions." This is a subject near-and-dear to my heart, both because I am a private school teacher and because I regard the Catholic schools I went to after 7th grade as having saved me from the hitherto miserable existence in the public warehouses. I was therefore overwhelmed with subjectivity, and shot back a bit snottily. I will say that anyone who thinks "selective enrollment" means we don't take in troubled kids or poor kids is very much mistaken, but I will then let it go.


My retort to Morat's question became "How about employers and the rest of society, who must deal with the end-product of education? Education serves a purpose to society at large, and that purpose is not to provide English majors with employment." Ho ho for me. Morat claimed this to be "non-responsive", and then addressed my first "conservative objection" to teacher's unions, asking "What's bad about educators pushing new methods of education?" That largely brings us up to speed.


First off, there's nothing wrong with new educational methods, in and of themselves. I am sometimes skeptical of the pace with which these methods are studied and adopted, but that is but a function of a free market in information. I also suspect an establishment of educational theorists and bureaucrats who need to justify their jobs, but I don't regard them as quite so malignant as most conservatives do, and not everything they do is re-inventing the wheel.


But a moment on my "non-responsive" response, as I think there may be something here. I think another reason conservatives mistrust the teacher's unions is because they detect more than a whiff of smug condescension in their public statements, on the order of only-we-know-what-is-good-for-the-children. The suggestion that the rest of society has valid input on how and what children should be taught is often met with disdain and mockery, or dismissed as irrelevant. As an example, we have the perennial go-round on the place of God in the classroom. In public schools, God's name is not mentioned, more out of litigation safety than hostility to Him. The idea that Christianity, being one of our central cultural monologues, should at least have mention in our schools is dismissed out of hand. That isn't their job, and they won't be burdened with it, and what kind of fanatic agenda do you have in mind? In fairness, more than a few religious fundamentalists are trying to turn the clock back to pre-Copernican days. But that's not the aim of all, and it's mere mental laziness to behave otherwise. Society deciding what it's children shall learn is not fascism, and educators are not freedom fighters. We cannot undo the past in 5th grade.


Culture wars aside, there is a deeper problem conservatives have with the teacher's unions that I did not previously mention, because it's not a problem of the teacher's unions so much as a problem with education overall, as practiced in modern America. Morat believes that standards should be set on a national level, but solutions should be left to local communities and schools. I agree with him, and so do most conservatives (inasmuch as they are willing to accede to any national role in education at all). The problem is that solutions will be national so long as funding is national (sound familiar?). Federal dollars are used as carrots and sticks to ensure acceptance of national standards. Layers upon layers of bureaucracy are required to oversee this system, and hoops upon hoops set for teachers and administrators to jump through. The process is overcomplicated, and will remain so as long as education money is funneled through Washington.


The problem isn't really private schools or public schools or charter schools or busing to schools. The problem isn't what gets taught in schools; the curriculum varies only in small ways, and generally over cosmetic issues. It's a problem of there not being enough schools, of schools designed to serve too many kids. Middle schools of 1,000 students devolve into hormonal warehouses, high schools of more than that number become gang and pregnancy farms. Children require adult supervision, and for input to be rationed out. We need to build more schools, so that every community has one.


This is going to cost a lot of money, and it isn't a silver bullet. Standards are going to have to be kept and maintained. But each community knows what its children need better than the Department of Education does. Each community should have the chance to set a school up to do that. That means each community should have the funds to do that, and that means letting them keep it.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Quote For the Day





Democracy is the premise that the common man knows what he wants and deserves to get it, good and hard.


-H.L. Mencken

Where are They?





I've been reading the Federalist Papers of late, and I haven't much progressed beyond the early Hamilton issues. In reading them, I have been struck by how easy Hamilton had it, in making arguments of how the Constitution would be of common benefit to the citizens of the Thirteen States. All he had to do was argue that unity and a strong central government would provide internal peace, prevent military exploitation at the hands of Eruopean powers (at one point, he declares that Europe, "by force and by fraud, has, in different degrees, extended her dominion" over Africa, Asia, and America, and calls upon the new United States to "disdain to be the instruments of European greatness!" Heady words), and make our internal and external commerce strong. Order, strength, prosperity: those were the subjects that mattered.


Today I found an interesting article about an upcoming book by Zell Miller, Democrat from Georgia, the archetypal "blue dog" Democrat. The article lists a number of oft-repeated problems that moderate-to-conservative have come to have with their party: too liberal, too value-neutral, too in-the-pocket of cultural special interest groups and out-of-step with "mainstream" America. I've heard such before, and you may have as well: people who say "I didn't leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left me." My father was a lifelong Minnesota Democrat who voted for Dukakis in '84 and Mondale in '88 but became a Bush Republican after three years in ultra-libby Northern California, watching New Left lunacy take over the party of Harry Truman. By the same token, Miller has decided not to stand for re-election in 2004, despite what would be an easy run. He's done.


Again, such has been heard before. We could easily chalk this up to the red-county, blue-county divide. But I wonder. It's been a long time since I heard anyone in the Democratic Party suggest that the priorities of the Federal Government were Order, Strength, and Prosperity, and the rest could be left to itself. Clinton almost said it, when he claimed that "the era of big government was over," but he didn't expand upon it, or say why the era of big government was over or should be over. No one believed he meant it, anyway. Since then, the Democratic Party has been About a great many things. They've been about prescription drug benefits for seniors, and affirmative action for minorities, and driver's licenses for illegal aliens, and about making a great noise about education, and about abortion. But not much Order, Strength, Prosperity. In fact, they seem to suggest we should be apologetic about having the latter two.


Observe my evil twin's discourse on the Partial Birth Abortion Ban. He makes it very clear that the law should not have been passed, because it will not stand to judicial review. Ergo, someone who voted for this law either a) is ignorant of what our constitution says, or b) knew that the courts would undo the law and voted for it for "political points" (is there a tally card? Are there Triple Sound Bite Scores?). It does not occur to him that those who voted for the law find PBA abhorrent, even if Howard Dean says there's no such thing, and felt the laws of the land should reflect such.


This is also, on the face of it, unsurprising. Abortion is the third-rail of the Democratic Party. The ethical issues pertaining to it are not to be discussed, and any attempt to do so is an attempt to undo Roe vs. Wade. Whether Roe vs. Wade was a sound decision or an unnecessary overreach of judicial power is not to be discussed, and any attempt to do so reveals one for a bigoted 1950's back-alley sexist boogey monster thing. It is not an issue. It is not a question. It is not to be doubted or reconsidered. It Is Law, and only barbarians fail to bow before it. Say ten "I-Support-A-Woman's-Right-To-Choose" before you go to bed to recieve absolution.


As my rhetorical pendulum swings back, I am forced to ask: What does this have to do with Order, Strength, and Properity? Not a blessed thing, and this is my point. Morat is annoyed at politicians slapping themselves on the back for striking down a practice that they'll likely never come in contact with. That's a fair enough position, even if I disagree with him on the practice. But all this politicking and folderol on what is the most personal of matters has happened precisely because in 1973 the Supreme Court declared this most personal of matters to be enscribed in the national law. The uterus is now everbody's business, and will be dealt with in the vain, rabble-rousing manner that the rest of public business is conducted in.


Hamilton did not restrict the aims of the national government to Order, Strength, and Prosperity because he thought all other things unimportant. Rather, he and Madison and Washington and the rest of the Founders thought all other things too important to be left to the political process. This is the reason our political wills are confounded by legistlature, presidency, and courts. The Founders knew that lust for power was a human failing, not a structural malady, and so set the pieces in play against one another. Government, to them, was a necessary tedium because it could protect Order, Strength, and Prosperity. Washington the man would never have wanted Washington the city to be talking about the goings-on in a woman's womb.


We fell from this path from a variety of motivations, and when I stoke the fires of my anti-Confederacy rancor I will discuss those motivations in full. For the moment, the issue-happy Democrats and the pork-happy Republicans should start considering what the real purpose of our government is. Their failure to do so will lead to many more Zell Millers walking away from party and process, and the best will be mute, and the worst will be full of passionate intensity.


My evil twin is right. Upholding the Constitution is everyone's job, and making the hard choices is what we send men and women to Washington to do. He and I would disagree about what hard choices should be made, of course. But that is what makes the choices hard.

Damn Yankees





I could come up with a lame excuse for not blogging, but my tolerance for monotony has never been high. Ka-ka happens, kay?


On the subject of sports, the New York Yankees just took the lead over the Florida Marlins, 2 games to 1. They'd lost the first game of the series much like they had to the Twins in the first playoff. It begins to appear that the result no baseball fan outside the Five Boroughs wanted to see -- the damn Yankees winning it all again -- will come to pass.


On the one hand, this is annoying to me. I basically stopped watching pro basketball during the period of the Jordan-Pippin Bulls because the result was a forgone conclusion from the season opener: Chicago was going to win. I had similar feelings toward the Joe Montana 49'ers. Dynasties make a game boring. The great thing about football these last few seasons has been the fact that no one's been able to really predict the team that's going to make it to the big dance and win it. And I'm not alone. Judging by the drop-off in ratings, most of the public agrees with me.


On the other hand, Yankee-hatred can be just as irrational as any other form of continuous anitpathy. Everybody seems to hate the Yankees, except for all the people that seem not to. I grumble and groan when the Yankees dominate baseball, but I secretly glory in it. They have a long tradition of winning, of strong play and aggressive determination (and lots and lots of money), and what is wrong with any of that? Why do the Yankees always win? Who knows...but when they are, it seems all is right with the world.

Friday, October 17, 2003

More Environmental Garbage





You know what you never hear about anymore? The spotted owl. Remember the spotted owl? Remember how upset all the activists got about this bird? Well, guess what: after walling off millions of acres and putting an end to 22,000 lumber jobs in the Northwest, the spotted owl is still declining, and likely to become extinct anyway. It's being pushed out of its habitat by the barred owl, which is apparently better suited to survive.


Meanwhile, the timber industry now imports a great deal of its wood from foreign countries that don't have such environmental restrictions. Yes, thanks to the Audobon society playing Gaia, the United States is importing wood.


I give up. Wake me when the Visigoths arrive.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

So You Think You Know About Global Warming?





Jack Hollander, professor emeritus of energy and resources at Cal-Berkley, knows more than you do. He says in an article in the Wilson Quarterly that the "universal consensus" about it is a load of hooey. Here's my favorite quote, regarding the "melting ice caps" routine:


Before considering whether the ongoing sea-level rise has anything to do with human use of fossil fuels, let’s examine what science has to say about how global temperature change may relate to sea-level change. The matter is more complicated than it first appears. Water expands as it warms, which would contribute to rising sea level. But warming increases the evaporation of ocean water, which could increase the snowfall on the Arctic and Antarctic ice sheets, remove water from the ocean, and lower sea level. The relative importance of these two factors is not known.


But read the whole thing. It's a brilliant piece of careful sobriety, much needed in these mindless times.

Touché





This cartoon, on the subject of campus, intellectual diversity, says it all.

The Shamelessness of the Democrats





I always thought Tom Daschle was a laughable character, always looking befuddled in his pink ties and perennial expression of impotent concern. To me, he was clueless, not despicable. Now I'm not so sure. Listening to him stand before the Senate and say that Iraq should pay for its reconstruction out of its own oil revenues actually made me angry. Is he serious?


Let us catalog the reasons why this is an infuriatingly dumb idea:




1) We promised the Iraqis that their oil revenues would be used for their benefit. We've said it again and again, despite all the accusations that this is an imperialist venture to grab the oil supplies of a Middle Eastern nation. Would Daschle et al have us go back on our word? What purpose could that serve?


2) Everything we've done in Iraq thus far, if it hasn't completely endeared us to the Iraqi people, had demonstrated that we aren't barbarian franj coming to enslave them. We said we'd get rid of Saddam; we did. We said we'd get the place back up and running; we largely have. We said we'd set up a democratic government, we're delivering. Presenting them with a bill for our services is going to undo what goodwill we've managed to create in this crucial section of the Arab world. Again, what for?


3) Need we remind Daschle that there are still Baathists and terrorists in-country who are not happy with the way the war went? He may have noticed the American soldiers dying and the mosques and embassies being targeted. Saddling the fledgling Iraqi republic with war debt is all the political capital those monsters need to start talking to the people. Can you say "Versailles Treaty?" Knew you could.




And would someone explain what happened to the Democratic concern for the poor benighted Third-Worlders? Whence the call to seek out the "root causes" of terrorism in the oppression of distant peoples? Is Daschle really concerned with a lousy $87 billion (chump change next to what prescription drugs are going to cost us) over the fate of an entire nation?


I know, I'm getting myself all worked up over what is easily explainable. Daschle doesn't have to be, you know, consistent with his arguments, or concerned with the long-term fallout of his arguments. He's just a senator; why should he worry about some silly war on terrorism when there's a Big Bad Bush Beast to tear down? I should be more charitable to the man. He's only following the advice of the great ur-liberal, Walt Whitman, who wrote that "Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds," an argument which was and is the excuse for lazy minds.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Worth Considering





Gallup has polled Baghdad, and once again, the Iraqis want us to stay. They also say that our troops have behaved, overall, well. A solid majority said attacks on them were not justified.


It appears that the war hasn't ruined our reputation on this Arab street.

Friday, October 10, 2003

The Real Music Problem?



Last week in the Post's Outlook section Jeff How of Wired magazine describes a different threat to online music: The Digital Millenium Copyright Act, which according to Howe undoes the concept of "fair use." It's a compelling article, and makes a smaller argument couched in economic reality:
The major labels own scores of smaller ones, such as Elektra, Epic and Interscope, where much of the music is made, marketed and distributed. The people who work at the smaller labels, people I got to know while covering the music industry, are the ones now losing their jobs in droves, at least in part because of file sharing. They are not fat cats. They don't chomp cigars and relish caviar. They have much more in common with obsessed file sharers and the music lovers than they do with the lawyers and CEOs of the conglomerates they work for.

The terrifying (but unsurprising) thought this yields is that the music fan's online revolt might make it harder for scrappy indie acts to get signed and distributed. That means more Britneys, more 50-Cents. More mindless pop schlock.

All of which doesn't mean I'm ready to break boycott yet. I'm still angry at the labels for stupidly antagonizing music fans instead of investing in a new technology that could have revolutionized their businesses. But it does mean that perhaps we should start talking about the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and why it exists, and how we can secure the rights of the creator without destroying the rights of the user.

MTV Offering Online Music?



Could be huge.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Fantasia





I'm not going to comment, for the moment, on my evil twin's ideas regarding the UN, the War or the Plame affair (Treasongate? How original). But on the subject of Fantasy, he's spot on:


Here's a helpful hint to anyone writing fantasy. When it comes time to design a magic system, assuming you use one, please bear in mind the concepts of "balance" and "restrictions". There are times, and settings, for uber-powerful magic and mages, but for the most part magic shouldn't be the fantasy deus ex machina.


Aye! Some authors get so caught up in designing a system that they forget to write fiction about the interplay between characters. Fantasy novels are novels. Let them aspire to be such, or not bother.

Hi there.





Dropping in for a bit to comment on the Pope news on Drudge: The Pope may get the Nobel Peace Prize. And why? Because of his opposition to the Iraq war. I love this. The Vatican calls the WHO a bunch of liars regarding condoms and AIDS, they still won't give in and accept the positions on abortion, homosexuality, and such that all the cool kids have, but if you provide grist for the mill of anti-Bush terror appeasement, you're a brave world leader who must be rewarded.


I have the satisfaction of my suspicion that JP won't give a damn about the award. He'll send a functionary (maybe Ratzinger! Hee hee!) to pick it up while he's traveling someplace else, preaching to the people.