Friday, March 05, 2004

Cold Truth?





Fisked for your entertainment:




Cold Truth Vol. 3: Vote Democrat if you want to live.


This must be an example of non-threatening argument I've been hearing so much about.


TBTM Commentary by bozak


"Hi, I'm bozak, and I like fudge. Hey! You aren't wearing your anti-CIA tinfoil!"


Howard Dean has brought youth into this election process this year.


Just like Clinton was supposed to have in '92, and the 26th Amendment was supposed to in '72...


If I was between the age of 18-27 right now it wouldn?t take Howard Dean to get me involved in politics. I would do my best to organize every young person in the country to vote for the Democratic representative in the final election, provided there is an election this year.


Well, that makes se...huh?


I wouldn?t be surprised if another unexpected catastrophe happened and Coup Leader Bush decided that the time for elections just isn?t right for our country.


You wouldn't be surprised by something unexpected. That's cool! Will you be my Jesus?


Why would I say something like this? Have you forgotten the Republikkkon parties denial of ninety thousand black voters in Florida to steal the election in 2000? I remember it like it happened yesterday.


Notice that he's not citing any evidence that any of that actually happened. Merely the fact that Republicans denied what EVERYONE KNOWS happened is sufficient. After all, minorities would never lie for political purposes! Their hearts are pure as the driven sn...well, not snow, but some substance which is pure but not white. Phew. Almost stepped over the line.


Getting beyond the modern Jim Crow party and their dislike for minorities,


We'd love that, thanks.


it?s the youth of this country that really should start worrying if the Coup Leader actually wins the election this year. It is possible that the staunch Republikkkon owners of Diebold could help make the Coup Leader victorious with their paperless voting systems anyway.


Welcome to the International Society of Non-Sequitorians. We like pizza.


Cant you see it, Bush wins! The public says lets count the ballots. To which Diebold tells us, what ballots?


These are the same paperless voting systems that every news organ couldn't stop fulsomizing about after the AARP crowd got confused by paper ballots. You know, the system that was supposed to guaruntee that nobody ever had to argue about dimpled chads again. But now this is an insidious plot to make sure that all the votes go Republican. Also, notice the assumption that a Republican win in Florida is an immediate grounds for a recount. Because he can't win there, he just can't!


This being the case, the youth of our country should be organizing like no group in the history of the modern world has before.


Underneath the leadership of the Vanguard of the New Tommorrow, right?


It is the youth of this country that will be sent to die in more wars for profit for the Coup Leader and his Republikkkon party.


I seem to recall that the average age of our military during the first Gulf War was around 26. Anyone want to contend that it's lower now?


At the current time there are well over 500 American citizens who have lost their lives in the Iraq war for profit, not to mention ten thousand Iraqi?s. The Coup Leader and his Klan think young American life is worth losing in order that Halliburton and their other cronies can be given no bid contracts to fatten their pockets. Imagine the kickbacks the high ranking Republikkkons will get once they leave office.


This meme is apparently resistant to antibiotics. Although it would explain why Clinton is suddenly rolling in oil kickbacks, given that he awarded a no-bid contract to Halliburton in 1997 to deal with the Bosnian reconstruction even though another company had the LOGCAP contract. It would also explain why the Moon Landing was faked.


The only kickback for the youth who votes Republikkkon and ends up in the next war for profit can only be death.


Not security, tax cuts, or social security reform. Nope, just DEATH! Why, at the rate of 500 dead soldiers a year, we won't have any youth at all in just 200 years! Assuming that they all serve in the military, and nobody wins the war for 200 years.


That reminds me, how come the lefties never shriek about the casualty figures from Afghanistan? Surely the soldiers who died their are just as betrayed as those that die in Iraq? Why was that war okay but this one not?


Think about it, even if you are a young white racist and you vote for the Republikkkon party because they keep it real (real white),


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He said "real", and then "(real white)"! Chris Rock would just LOVE how you stole his joke!


would you rather vote for bigots to keep racism alive, or vote democratic to keep your ass alive? You have to think that even a racist would say I choose life over hatred and bigotry. Wouldn?t they?


'Course they would, silly. Islamic bigots choose their own life over hatred and bigotry all the time. That's why the West Bank is such a serene tourist destination today.


It should be obvious to American youth that this regime's plan is for more war for profit.


Don'tcha love it when they move beyond parody?


Where will you be shipped off to?


Wah, Ah don' rahtlee no, suh. Ah'm hopin' that massa' 'membuhs that Ah been a good hand.


Syria, Iran, North Korea? Imagine casting a vote as a youth for the Coup Leader and then being shipped off to a country to fight in a war for profit.


If you wanted, bozak, you could do better than imagine it. You could ask some of the soldiers of the 3rd Infantry Division who've returned from Iraq how they feel about serving. Go ahead, ask them how they feel that the Coup Leader has forced them to fight a war for profit. Hope you like the taste of knuckles.


Think it can?t happen to you? It?s being said almost everyday now that our military is being spread way too thin because we are fighting wars on two fronts right now.


I haven't heard anybody say this since before Operation Iraqi Freedom. Maybe that's why we need to TAKE BACK THE MEDIA! Why, it should be obvious!


If the Coup Leader miraculously gets elected,


Hang on there, tiger. You just said that you wouldn't be surprised at all if he pulls a fasty and gets "re-selected." So now you wouldn't be surprised by the miraculous?


Gosh! You ARE Jesus!


look for the next war in the never ending ?wore on terra? to start as soon as possible. I?m sure this regime knows it?s so dirty that it could never finish another term even if the people of this country moronically elected them to office for the first time.


So they know that they can't finish another term even if they're re-elected, because re-election will have proved how much the American people don't....


*blither*


Look how long it took them to go from Afghanistan to Iraq. They never finished the war in Afghanistan before starting the war in Iraq. So most likely here comes the draft. You say you don?t want to die in a war for profit?


And here, at last, after paragraphs of deathless prose, is the rhetorical coup de grace. Why, of course! That's the plan! They'll just draft everybody! That always works! And we know that this is their real plan because none of them have even broached the subject publicly! They're just that clever and corrupt!


Did we mention the Moon Landing was Faked?


Then don?t vote Republikkkon.


Sorry, I have to. I'm a white racist who wants to see others die for Halliburton's stock price. Every day I check the casualty figures, and when they go up, I cackle mischeviously and pull my moustache, and for one bright shining moment I can forget about all the dirty minorities that have civil rights and all the poor people I haven't ridden my coach over today.




Look, I know that there's a difference between this tool and Atrios, and that aliterates of his kind are to be found on the right. But I'm not linking to them, am I?

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