The Following was Recently Overheard in the Senate:

Senator A: Would you rule against abortion?

Nominee: I don't think it's appropriate to answer those questions, as I might have to rule on them soon, and would prefer to approach the case freshly.

Senator A: When you were a lawyer, you argued against abortion.

Nominee: A lawyer's job is different from a judge's. I would do the job differently.

Senator A: I don't understand why you won't give me a straight answer.

Machine that Goes Ping: Ping!

Senator B: Would you rule against right-to-death statutes?

Nominee: Precedent has affirmed it. However, I would approach each case distinctly. There are many areas yet to be ironed out.

Senator B: I find your answers troubling, and so should the American people.

Machine that Goes Ping: Ping!

Senator C: I would just like to say blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blobbity bloobity bloo, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah-blah-blah, blah blah blah blah-blah blah-blah blah blah I'm gonna be on television, I'm gonna be on television, blah blah blah blah-blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah-blah-blah, don't you think?

Nominee: Well...

Senator C: It's important to keep in mind that blah blah blah, blah bloobity bloobity bloo-blah, blah blobbity blobbity blobbity blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah-blah blah, blah blah blah-blah-blah. So you understand our concern with these conflicting answers you're giving.

Machine that goes Ping: Ping!

Senator A: I want to subpoena something.

Chairman: Forget it.

Senator A: You suck.

Chairman: Your mom.

Machine that goes Ping: Ping!